For the First Time
by Arden Skysender
Summary: Glorfindel OFC Haldir Ofc. When you love someone, you'll do anything to keep them safe. Even if they don't love you back. But Glorfindel must either see the error of his ways, or lose her forever. Haldirs arms are open to her. But it is Glorfindel she lo
1. Looking in the Mirror

**A/n: okay. New story. Written over the last year and a half and still not finished. Hopefully some feedback will give me some inspiration. Enjoy.**

She saw the stool rocking beneath him. She shook her head, rolling her eyes. If he fell, she was not going to save him this time! She wasn't! A tiny voice in the back of her mind snorted. Of course she would. She always did.

"Glorfindel, get off that stool before you fall off," she said, as she stacked books in a pile upon the table.

He did not even look at her. "I am almost finished. Leave me be elleth!" He reached across to an opposite shelf, the stool toppling over, sending Glorfindel and the books falling the long way to the soft ground. Soft? Glorfindel realized then that his little assistant had thrown herself beneath him to break his fall. He cursed her foolhardiness, and then himself, overwhelmed with guilt. She was forever rescuing him, damn her! He was a grown ellon, twice her age! He could take care of himself. He checked her gently for injuries, and not liking what he found, hefted her slight weight into his arms, taking her to the House of Healing. Elrond would not be happy with him. This was not the first time she had come to harm through sparing him from it.

He deposited her upon one of the many beds in the lightened room, and Elrond came over to him, shaking his head.

"My friend, what happened? This is not the first time that you have brought your young assistant to me in such a state. What did she save you from this time?" Glorfindel glared at Elrond.

I knew he'd say that, thought Glorfindel, before saying aloud, "This is only the third time," indignantly, smoothing the hair from her forehead. She was such a little thing, but she was fiercely protective of him, which often resulted in her unconscious, in the Healing rooms. Elrond just shook his head. "Glorfindel, either start listening to her when she says that something is dangerous, or wait until she is not there before attempting it! I cannot keep healing her like this. It is not good for her."

Glorfindel stroked the side of her face with a tenderness he would never show her when she was awake. It was always the same. The first time, when a horse had reared in the stable, spooked by a noise from outside, she had pushed him out of the way of the flailing hooves, only to be struck by one herself. She had said not to go near the skittish horse whilst the black smiths were plying their trade outside the stable. He had been too confident in his abilities to listen. She was right. A loud clang had startled the shaking horse, and upon pushing Glorfindel out of the way, she herself had been struck.

"I'm beginning to think you like to see her laid out like this."

Elrond was wrong. It was far worse for Glorfindel, and a much harsher punishment to see her come to harm each time she spared him from it. And he had tried to heed her warnings, if only to prevent her from harm, but he just could not. It never occurred to him the accidents that could occur after so many millennia of living. And it seemed that many of his habits resulted in her being in bed. Bar one. There was one habit of his that never ended with her in bed. And he was glad, for he did not want a bed partner. Those he had an endless supply of. He thought, almost distastefully. Almost. He wanted an assistant, and as time passed, a friend. Although, recently, it appeared she was quickly becoming a body guard of the staunchest and strangest kinds, taking the fall before he could.

He shook his head, as though to dispel it of its thoughts, and focused on her sleeping face once more. Elrond had healed her, and had long since left his friend to contemplate his error. Again.

She opened her eyes, to see him beside her. Glorfindel shook his head at her.

"You were seriously hurt this time Sallahra," he said gravely. "Neither I nor the books were a load you should have had fall upon you. No matter what the reason."

"I was trying to catch you" she commented wryly, "But you proved too oafish. I settled for breaking your fall."

"You shouldn't of. I can take care of myself. You were seriously hurt."

"But at least you are unharmed, "she said, smiling at him weakly.

He cursed himself, and her undying loyalty. "Do you not see Sallahra? You cannot keep doing this! One day you will do yourself an injury that Elrond cannot heal! I am a warrior, I can take care of myself!"

Sallahra raised an eyebrow. "If you can take care of yourself, why am I always the one saving you Glorfindel?" he remained silent.

"Well maybe if you listened to me, Glorfindel," she continued "This would not happen." She said, before turning from him. She adored him, loved him more than anything she ever had in all her long life, but she did not tell him. Loving him would be a death sentence, for he loved many, yet would be with none. And she did not even warrant a chance to lay in his bed, as she had dispelled any notions he might have had about that in the first few days of her employment, turning around and slapping his hand away whenever it had tried to 'accidentally' come into contact with her behind, and at one point, even telling him to his face that she would never, ever share his bed. That was long before she found herself lonely at night, longing for an embrace she realized _she_ had denied herself of. Before she realized that she no longer worked for him, she served him. Before she realized that the only thing she could ever think about, no matter how hard she tried, was him.

"Why must you do this? Why must you repetitively cause yourself harm in order to spare me from it?", he demanded.

"Because you mean more to me than my own life does, Glorfindel, you know that." Her voice was quiet in the large room, as she lay facing away from him. "Now leave me. I wish to sleep,"

Glorfindel reached out to place a hand upon her shoulder, opened his mouth to say something, anything, but stopped. There were no words. He never had the words. There was nothing he could say to her that she would want to hear.

'Stop rescuing me, Sallahra," he whispered to her, as she slept. "I cannot bare to see you hurt again for my sake."

All who saw the two together thought that they were a bound couple, Sallahra often predicting Glorfindels needs, and he often getting the small things done for her, which she had no time to do for herself. Not that he had time either, but he always seemed to make time for his little dark haired assistant. Glorfindel could be quite scatterbrained at times, but she would always know exactly were he needed to be, what he would be doing, and what he would need. (Something that he had never managed to sort out for himself, ever.)

There was only one problem. Or rather, several. His love was for not one, but for many. The elleths who he constantly took to his bed occupied his attentions to the point where he claimed he could never settle down with one. One in particular, Gwyneth, was most persistent, lathering Glorfindel with affection. Sallahra did not like it. She would place money on the fact that it wasn't Glorfindels prowess she wanted. It was the title.

But still, no matter what she said, Glorfindel refused to believe her. She wondered how long it would be this time, before she had to save him once more

**A/N. please review. I'm really lost here. Thanks all. I know where this is going, I have most of it written. But do you want to read it? ideas for other stories welcome too.ta**


	2. All the Little Peices

**Chap2**

Haldir, Marchwarden of Lorien, was in Imladris that week, trying to determine the safest courses of travel for the trading parties between Lorien and Imladris, through a series of somewhat tedious meetings. Glorfindel, as seneschal, was expected to attend these meetings, as was Sallahra as his assistant, who was newly recovered from her injuries. Despite their conversation in the House of Healing, it appeared that whatever occurred there, stayed there, as Glorfindel was his normal scatterbrained, lusty self. So they returned to life as normal.

Glorfindel found these meetings normally bored him, but something else caused him to take a new interest in them this time. Haldir was looking at Sallahra's little form with great interest. Glorfindels eyes narrowed. He watched through out the long, lengthy discussion, as Haldirs eyes roamed the curves of Sallahra, as she sat taking notes in her neat hand, (as, she thought, no doubt Glorfindel was fast asleep) Glorfindel was surprised to find jealousy threading through his boredom, and he became determined to get her out of the room as quickly as possible once the meeting had ended. When it did, however, Haldir made for the little elleth, effectively cutting Glorfindel off.

"Well, my lovely, I have not seen you at council before," he breathed, taking her hand in his, and rising it to his lips, his eyes smoldering. She kept her gaze coolly locked on his, ignoring Glorfindel, who was fuming beside the Marchwarden. Maybe this was the motivation Glorfindel needed.

"That is because I have not been there, my Lord. I am Sallahra of Gurien, Lord Glorfindels assistant." She said, forcing herself to smile at him sweetly to soften her abrupt tone. She never was any good at flirting. Her character was too blunt to allow coyness.

"Is that so? Well perhaps he could loan your sweet company to me for the afternoon?" he said, raising an eyebrow suggestively. Glorfindel cleared his throat hurriedly. "Sallahra, come, we have much to do," he said, trying to pull her away from the lusty elf. Haldir raised his eyebrows. "The Lady can say for herself whether or not she is occupied, Glorfindel." Sallahra looked at Haldir who was smiling amicably.

"Perhaps another time, Marchwarden, as My Lord needs me." She said, before leaving the two Lords in the corridor, heading towards Glorfindels study.

"_You_ do not need her, Glorfindel, why do you keep her from me?" Haldir asked lightly, intent on her softly curved form, making it's way up the hall.

"Because _you_ need her," Glorfindel muttered under his breath. He hadn't missed the looks of open lust the Marchwarden had been directing her way. He did not like it one bit. "And not for shuffling papers I'll warrant, or polishing a desk." Glorfindel could have slapped himself at that last comment, as the Marchwarden burst into deep laughter, that echoed up the hall. "I'll warrant that polishing a desk could well be on the agenda, Glorfindel. Her back could polish it quite nicely." Glorfindel growled low in his throat, and Haldir laughed again. "Glorfindel, if she is so much to you, than do something about staking a claim upon her… Before I do." and with that, he swept up the hall, his footsteps echoing through the halls.

(&(

She stood behind Glorfindels desk, sorting out his reports. Honestly, the ellon didn't know the difference between a written report and a letter! Glorfindel came charging in shortly after, slamming his way around the room in one of his moods. She just sat down heavily and sighed. They were going to be here for a long time.

"What is it Glorfindel?" she asked, exasperated. He turned and looked at her, as though he had only just realized she was there.

"I don't want you going near Haldir again,' he said sternly, coming to stand in front of her, arms folded. She raised her eyebrows. So it had gotten to him. He was acting like a toddler who had been cheated of a treat. She returned to sorting the papers in front of her.

"Why not?" she asked, as she addressed one of the many letters before her "He certainly seemed amicable to spending time in my company."

"It is not your company he wants Sallahra!" he burst out, nearly stamping his foot, so great was his frustration. He didn't know what came over him. It's not that he wanted her he told himself hurriedly, he just…. didn't want anyone _else_ to have her.

She raised her eyebrows, looking up at him. "I am a grown elleth, Glorfindel. You think I do not know what he wants? What makes you think that I do not want the same thing?" She said brazenly, enjoying the look of shock that crossed his features. He remained silent for a long time, out of shock or frustration at not getting his way, she wasn't sure. Come to think of it, he realized, neither was he.

"Promise me, Sallahra. Promise me you will not go to him." He said finally, his voice so quiet that she struggled to hear him. She sighed in exasperation. "I will not go near him, if you will not go near Gwyneth," she replied archly, not looking up from her papers. He exploded in another fit of spluttering. "That is entirely different," he managed to spit out. She looked up at him, and saw he was struggling to construct sentences.

"How so?" she asked, trying to keep her face straight. "I have told you before she is only after one thing, Glorfindel, and I'll tell you now, it is not your sexual prowess, no matter how great you tell yourself it might be." Once again, Glorfindels mouth continued to open and close silently, unable to make sense of what his normally chaste little assistant was saying.

"Well?"

"….It's just different, that's all," he finally said, exasperated. "It's my business," She went back to her papers, telling herself she wasn't hurt by that comment. "Then if you do not mind, leave me to mine," she said. He went to leave the room then. On his way out, he slowed, looking back at her.

"You will stay away from him, won't you?" he asked quietly once more. She sighed again, this time in resignation. "If you stay away from her, My Lord." he left, more frustrated then when he went in. And she struggled to not scream after him that no, she could never go near another, not when she was already his.

**A/N:Thankyou all for my lovely reviews! I have replied to as many as I could, and will continue to do so. Don't worry, Haldir won't be bad, evil or an insane rival (as he sometimes can be.lol) he's good to. Just….a bit different. Scouts honour. Let me all know how you like the chapter now. Thankyou!**


	3. Shards of Me

He had meant to listen to her. He really had. There was perhaps _some_ truth in her warning about Gwyneth, truth that he himself had already come to suspect. He meant to stay away from the elleth, even if it were just to keep Sallahra away from Haldir. But abstinence was not in Glorfindels vocabulary, and one that was forbidden to him only became all the more appealing.

&(&(&

He shuddered, as the last of the throes of pleasure that had previously wracked his body left him, leaving him spent, and almost satisfied. Almost. He fell to the side of the elleth, reluctant to begin a conversation with what for him was, just another elleth. He heard her stretch languorously beside him with a little sigh of satisfaction, before she turned to face him, a hand upon his chest. "I have missed you this past week, My Lord," Gwyneth said huskily to her lover. "It has been a long time since you last filled my bed."

Glorfindel remained silent, contemplating the ceiling, lost in his own thoughts. He tried to ignore the feeling of guilt that slowly crept over him. He had tried to stay away from the wily elleth, but she had lured him back to her bed. She would not know, he reassured himself. Sallahra would not find out. But deeply within himself, the little feeling of doubt, and rancid guilt continued to whisper to him. He left Gwyneth's bed then, ashamed, despite her protests. But what was done, could not be undone

&&&

She knew the very day he returned to Gwyneth. There was no mistaking the smug grin of Gwyneth, who was so sure she was so close to claiming her prize, nor the guilt of Glorfindel, however he tried to hide it. That very night, she accepted Haldir's invitation to walk in the gardens. And she made sure Glorfindel knew it. She half wished he would follow her to the gardens, or try and stop her going, but he did not. He knew he had been the one to break the bargain between them. He had been the one to drive her into the Marchwarden's arms. And he sat up waiting for her that night, deeply troubled.

&&(&(

"My Lady Sallahra. Might I say that you look exceptionally lovely tonight?" Haldir purred, pausing over her hand, before placing a kiss upon the back of it. She forced a smile to her face. It was clear what Haldir had in mind. And whilst her body wasn't entirely objecting, her heart fought against even being here with him. "My Lord," she began.

"Haldir," he interrupted, effectively cutting her off, and began leading them into the most secluded part of the garden.

"Haldir," she said, trying to slow down the rapid pace the long legged Marchwarden was setting. Her short frame stood no chance.

"Alone at last," he murmured before pulling her against him, and placing a rapid kiss upon her lips, which were still trying to form anything that resembled refusal. She did not have much luck. It is difficult to talk when one finds two tongues in their mouth instead of one. She finally managed to pull away from Haldir.

"Haldir!" she managed to gasp out, as she fought to regain her breathe. He ignored her still, leaving kisses across her neck, her collar bone, in to her bodice. She jerked away at last, and Haldir looked up in surprise.

"My Lady, forgive me, did you want for something?" he asked, a little confused.

She did not look at him. "I'm sorry, Haldir. I cannot be here with you…like this. It was never my intention to mislead you, but I fear my heart is already given to another." To her surprise, Haldir only nodded, before he released his hold upon her. "I thought as much, Mine also, is in another's keeping. And yet, here the two of us are, alone."

She looked at him, startled. He continued.

"There is a lady of Lorien that I would give all the time I have spent and all I have left upon this world to have. I have been lost on her for time beyond my counting. But she will not have me. She is alone in the world, her father and brothers killed in wars long passed, and she will not have anything to do with one who could be taken from her so swiftly again. I thought the reason silly."

"But surely you didn't tell her that," Sallahra blurted out, unable to help herself. "You would have kept such sentiments to yourself of course, as she was obviously in pain and…." She noticed then that he was avoiding her gaze. "You didn't did you?"

"No." he said, "My want for her was so great that I brushed aside her sentiments as though they meant nothing in the wake of my own. And whilst she has forgiven me, she refuses to be with one who does not understand her pain. So I must continue to wait for her." He paused, before facing Sallahra. "So I fill my bed with others company to while away the time until she will look at me once more." he raised his eyebrows suggestively. "And what of you, Sallahra? How do you while the time away whilst waiting for the Lord Seneschal?"

She couldn't meet his eyes. "Is it that obvious?" she asked quietly.

"Only to me," he said, taking her hand in his. "I recognize in you the same longing that I myself am consumed with." She looked up at him and smiled shakily. "I will leave you now, Sallahra," he said rising, "But know that I think that your company would be most amicable to while the time away. I will not let you be, if not for my own petty desire for you, than only to make the blonde brained seneschal jealous." And with that, he placed a kiss upon the back of her hand, slipping his tongue out to taste her flesh impertinently.

"You are always welcome in my arms, should you want someone to love you, for however short a while." He said, before striding from the clearing.

And as she watched him go, for a moment she forgot her own heartache, and felt tears in her eyes for the bitterness of the Marchwarden. His very nature was what kept him from his Lady, nothing else. But he could not see that. And a small glimmer of hope. Perhaps all was not lost. It was a little more reassuring knowing that, despite it all, Haldir's arms would be open to her. Not that she would ever go to him, she told herself. Glorfindel was the only one she could bear to have. But the thought was comforting all the same, in the loneliness that was her life and love of Glorfindel.

**A/N; Please let me know what your thinking. I've written the frame work and most of the other chapters, but I feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall. Feedback, reviews, comments, all very much appreciated.**


	4. Too Small To Matter

**Chap4**

Despite the fact that nothing more than a kiss had passed between the two of them that night, rumors flew thick and fast about the halls of Imladris about Haldir and Sallahra. And to her horror, Haldir did nothing to discourage them. He in fact, she suspected, started several of them. (the one about one of the maids joining in rang suspiciously of his doing) It seemed to make Glorfindel wild with jealousy, (which may very well have been Haldir's intent,) but while she enjoyed his extra attention, she did not enjoy the constant questions, guilty looks, or stammered words of the confused seneschal, nor the too friendly hands of the Marchwarden in the hall. It was like dealing with two elfings, one too busy tripping over his own feet, the other too obsessed with sex, to think of anything else. It was very much a relief when Haldir returned to Lorien later that week. As much as she enjoyed his company, he was not backward in coming forward, propositioning her at every turn.

"I hope to see you in Lorien some day, Sallahra," he murmured huskily over her hand, as he bent to kiss it in farewell. She smiled at his familiar farewell. Although they had not gone further than the kiss they had shared that first night, he ended each evening together with the impertinent kiss upon the back of her hand.

It unsettled her slightly at first, but now she just gave his shoulder a swat, and a friendly smile, sending him on his way. He did not look back.

She would miss his blunt manner though. As she continued on up the corridor, she shook her musings from her head. She had to start concentrating again, for Glorfindel would surely have work for her to…

She heard voices ahead. Slowing down so as not to interrupt the discussion of the two elves, which seemed to be quite heated indeed, she was shocked to hear Glorfindels voice stuttering his way through what sounded like an excuse. And Gwyneth's voice demanding an explanation. "Why will you not? Would you rather I take this to my father, and explain how you have been taking advantage of my innocence for the past three years?"

"Me! I'm sure you'll recall it was you who took advantage of me. Several times."

"But who will my father believe? You certainly seem amicable to spending time in my company, Glorifindel. Why will you not just marry me and make it official?"

"I cannot marry you because I…I…" Having overheard the conversation, she could not help herself. She would rescue him once more. Just this once more, she promised herself.

"Because he is going to bind with me. We decided just this morning, Gwyneth. I am sorry you had to find out this way." Gwyneth looked confused for a second before spitting out, "I thought that you were Haldir's lover," she said snappishly. She did not concede defeat easily.

"As I mentioned, it was sudden. Now if you do not mind?" despite the fact that she knew she was being rude, Sallahra could not help it. She held no love for Gwyneth, who turned and flounced up the corridor, leaving her lost conquest behind. Glorfindel turned to look at Sallahra relief playing across his features.

'I told you," she said quietly. "Did I not say that she was after you, My Lord?" Glorfindel had the decency to look down, like a chastised elfing. Once again, she had rescued him from his own ignorance, and she had been right.

"Well now what are we to do?" she asked him ,and he looked up in surprise.

"About what?" he asked, a little confused.

"About the fact that now, all of Imladris will soon know that we are to bind?"

Glorfindel looked horrified for a minute. Not for the fact that people were to know of her lie, but more of the fact that it _had_ been a lie. Now that he thought on it, the thought of binding with her was all the more appealing…

"You shall have to think fast to get out of this one, My Lord," she said, before leaving him alone in the corridor.

A/N: thanks for all the beautiful reviews! I love you all! Now you have to help me out with this chapter all! Ta very much. p.s: I love seeing Glorfindel in this situation, don't you? Just wait till you see how he deals with it!


	5. Big Enough To Cut Me

**Chap5**

It had been a full day since Gwyneth had stalked away from Glorfindel, and in that time, all of Imladris now knew of Sallahra and Glorfindel, as predicted. Glorfindel could not move without one elf or another asking whether it was true. Having had enough, he slammed into his study, startling Sallahra.

"We are not working today. We will go riding instead."

"Are you sure that is wise My Lord?" she asked a little warily, laying down her quill. "Running away from the problem will not solve it for you. Besides, there has been increased dark activity in these parts of late. You of all people should know that."

"We will be fine. We'll stay near the borders." He left the room, waiting for her in the corridor. Sighing, she followed. She always followed.

They were out riding along the borders of Imladris, far further than Glorfindel had intended to go, but he was not paying attention to that. The problem of convincing all Imladris he was still a bachelor prevailed amongst his thoughts. And how to keep Haldir away from Sallahra for good.

"We should not go so far, Glorfindel," Sallahra said, as they neared the edges of the boundary of Imladris. "You know there has been increased dark activity."

Glorfindel snorted. "No orc would dare attack on the borders of Imladris, Sallahra. You are safe with me." It was then, like some cruel irony, that the arrow flew past them to bury itself in the tree behind him. A small band of orcs broke through the trees, and Glorfindel cursed, knowing that she had been right again, and once more, he should have listened. If he hadn't been so intent on keeping her from Haldir, he would have sensed the orcs long before this.

He shoved her behind him.

"Do not try to save me. Stay behind me. I shall protect you," and for a while, he did. And just when all was thought won, an orc snarled as a sword caught him in the side, and he fired an arrow with the last of his strength. And despite all her promises to him, Sallahra could not help herself. She threw herself in it's path, knocking Glorfindel from his horse, and took the arrow meant for him. When Glorfindel stumbled up, and saw her twisted form on the path before him, the ugly black arrow protruding from her chest, he crawled over to her, letting loose a cry of heart rendering anguish, pulling her to him, once more cursing his own stupidity, and her reckless loyalty to him.

&(&&(7

"She near died in order to hold you, Glorfindel. What part of her love for you is so incomprehensible?"

Glorfindel could not meet Elrond's gaze, keeping Sallahra's hand tightly clutched in his, stroking it, callused as it was by pen and leather in his service, as Elrond staunched the flow o blood from the gaping wound the arrow had left. Glorfindel did not need to listen to what Elrond said. He had already been told. By the black arrow that now lay beside her bed. After tightly binding Sallahra's shoulder, Elrond left the room in exasperation, leaving what he had to say to Glorfindel for another time.

He kept his vigil beside her, afraid that if he left, she would wake up and find him gone from her, leaving her alone after all her endless devotion. And when she finally did open her eyes, late into the night, she was happy to see him beside her, despite her pledge to herself, in he half conscious mind, not to love him any more

"You nearly perished Sallahra", he said, at last, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, trying to make her see reason. She could no longer serve him. He now served her.

"Good. Perhaps if I never feel again, at least the pain of seeing you with others will end." She said, her voice empty, bereft of any emotion or warmth.

He shook his head. "Do not say that," he whispered to her hoarsely, reaching to touch the side of her face. She allowed herself to lean into his touch for the briefest of seconds, before she pulled away. "Do not make this any harder than this has to be Glorfindel."

"My body may be hurt in your service, Glorfindel, but you have made me suffer far worse than any orc arrow ever could. You know how I adore you, how I love you, yet still you do nothing. You go to others to release the tension that builds up in the long absence of physical love, but will not spare me so much as a soft glance, except when I am lain out before you, with my blood staining the pillow. Is this what it takes to make you see me Glorfindel? Must I keep rescuing you? Should I draw my own blood for your favor? Because I do not have the strength to continue to serve you!"

"All I can see in your eyes is my reflection. Though I can see nothing else, I can see nothing wrong with me, Glorfindel, tell me, what is wrong with me? How am I so wanting that you deny me for all others?"

Glorfindel looked up at her with haunted eyes. "You know I cannot be with you," he said hoarsely, his body growing tenser all the way through out her impassioned speech, as though it were rejecting her every word. He would not lose her.

"WHY NOT!" She demanded, throwing what little control she had left to the winds.

"BECAUSE I CANNOT LOSE YOU!" He cried, collapsing onto the bed. "THE CLOSER I LET YOU, THE MORE HARM YOU SEEM TO COME TO. AND I WILL HAVE NO MORE OF YOUR BLOOD ON MY HANDS. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LET THAT HAPPEN! EVEN WHEN I AM IN A POSITION TO PROTECT YOU, STILL YOU COME TO HARM THROUGH ME!" He threw himself from her room, out into the corridor, and onto a balcony, were he stared up at the stars, unseeing. She lay staring after him, her eyes open…also, unseeing.

**A/N; I am so sorry its taken me so long to reply to all your lovely reviews. My computer was infected wit more viruses than the computer people had names for. So I had to take it in. thankfully all me chapter were backed up on disks. I'm getting through them as quickly as possible, so keep letting me know what you think, I hope you enjoy the chapter! Cheesy a bit, I know, but you've gotta have a little cheese in every sandwich! review**


	6. If I Try To Touch Her

Elrond came to stand beside him on the balcony, not saying anything, not needing to.

"She's like the sunrise. Outshines the stars at night," he whispered hoarsely. Elrond looked at his old friend, and nodded. He understood.

"I'd have taken a thousand arrows before I would let one hit her Elrond. I did not mean for this to happen. I thought that we were beyond this now."

"Glorfindel, you must understand, her devotion to you is too harmful to her for me to allow it to continue. And you standing on the balcony spouting sonnets isn't going to help. I'm afraid, that, is she agrees, I will send her away. Haldir has extended an invitation…"

"Not Haldir!" Glorfindel snapped, whipping around to face the monarch. Elrond raised his eyebrows.

"Have you not seen the way he looks at her Elrond? He would consume her, and then spit out the husk of what she was. He wants nothing more than his Joselyn, who will not have him. And in the mean time, he has all others. Sallahra may be hurting here, but she would only be hurt so much more there, without….." Glorfindel stopped abruptly.

"Without who Glorfindel? Without you? How is the way you treat her any different?"

Glorfindel lowered his head, and remained silent for a very long time. "I have been a fool, haven't I?" he said softly, not meeting Elrond's eyes.

"Yes, you have. You know of her devotion, her love for you. You know how you feel for her. You know all of this, Glorfindel, and still you deny her. You do not deserve her, old friend. But for some strange reason she still wants you. I will not pretend to understand the elleths mind, my friend, but it would seem she is as foolish and stubborn as you are."

Glorfindel smiled warily at his old friend. "So you will not send her away?" he asked quietly, the moons shadow masking one side of his face, making him appear haggard, and grief stricken. Elrond would not meet his gaze.

"Elrond?" Glorfindel pressed, afraid of the answer, knowing he would not like it.

"If she wants to go, Glorfindel, I will not stop her. That is up to you." And with that, Elrond turned from the balcony, and retreated into the halls of Imladris, leaving Glorfindel to ponder just how he could live without her.

He stood outside her room, unable to summon the courage to move, to knock, to even announce his presence. She knew he was there. She could see his shadow beneath the door.

For once, she did not call to him. She did not make this easier. He must come to her. It was his turn to save her. And she wondered what she would do if he did not. When he finally stepped into the room, the sight of him filled her with hope. He approached her bed, unable to look at her.

"Lord Elrond said you spoke of leaving," he murmured, stroking a strand of her hair upon the pillow. She looked away from him.

"I have little to hope for here now," she answered back, gazing out the window.

"Stay. Stay…with me," he said. "I cannot stay in this world, nor the next, without you."

"You can mange without me Glorfindel. You do not need me."

"How do you know that? I need you more than you know."

"Than why not show me? Why not tell me? Why did you leave me for so long Glorfindel. It may be too late for me now. I will go to Lorien, where I am wanted." For the first time since entering the room, he looked at her, grasping her hand in his.

"No. I could not bare it if you left me. What will it take to make you see I need you? What will it take to make you stay?" And for the first time since he entered, she turned to face him.

"Love me." She said, and this time, he did not hesitate. He lay beside her upon the bed, and held her to him, shaking, as though he had never done this before. And perhaps, he hadn't. He still had so much left to learn. She allowed him to put his arms around her, and just this once, she did not save him from his own awkwardness. It was up to him to find his own way with this.

"Sallahra, do not leave me. Not for him, not for anyone. Stay. Stay with me," he whispered to her. "I-I love you," he murmured to her, stumbling over his words, as though he had never said them before. And perhaps, he hadn't. They lay in stillness, whispering to each other, the moment so fragile, both feared that anything louder would shatter it. The darkness cradled them, as the first strands of an unbreakable bond were created. He did not take her, he did not need to. For the first time, he was content to just hold someone. For the first time, that was enough.

&&78

And that should have been the end of it. After coming so close to losing her, and finally telling her of his love, it should have been the end of one story, and the start of another, telling of their long, and happy life together. Of marriage, and births and joyous times together. Despite not sharing a bed, at her insistence, both were happier than they ever had been.

However, this was not to last. Fate, in the form of Gwyneth, was not finished with them yet. Instead, it only grew darker. For a week they were happy. For one week, she allowed herself to hope.

**A/N: dun dun _dun!_ Cliffie! Tune in next week for the "Elfish and the Selfish"! Lol. What can I do to these two next! Cheese city my friends!Lol. Review people, please?**


	7. And I Bleed

In the darkness of the new moon, on her way to meet Glorfindel at a banquet in the Great Hall, she came upon something in the corridor she never thought she would see again. And hoped, never would. The familiar outline of Glorfindels shoulders, his blonde hair, being pressed against the wall, by an elleth. They were oblivious to all else, locked in each others embrace. She stood there, frozen, unable to move, until Glorfindel opened his eyes, and saw her standing there. He looked at the elleth in his arms, realizing for the first time that she was not his Sallahra. It was Gwyneth, with darkened hair. The resemblance had been so striking, he had never noticed in the darkness. He pushed her away roughly, but it was already too late. Once more, he had ignored Sallahra's warnings, and once more, he had hurt her. Only this time, more lastingly, and more completely than any mere physical harm. And the knowledge of this tore through him, and he raced after her, to try and somehow make things right, Gwyneth's smirk following him up the corridor.

She slammed the door shut within her quarters, locking it firmly. Then, ignoring the pounding that came from her door, and Glorfindels desperate cries, she began to place her belongings in a bag. Calmly, as always. If she let the pain catch her now, she knew that she would not be able to go on. She would go to where she was wanted. She would go away from the crippling pain that took form in her blonde haired love. She would go to Lorien. To Haldir, if he would still have her, for however short a time.

&&(7

She closed the door behind her, as she went to leave, staring up the corridors of Imladris for what she believed to be the last time. She then picked up the last of her bags, and walked away. She saw him in the corridor. His eyes caught hers, imploringly, begging her to see him, speak to him anything. She turned away, unable to even grant him that small concession. She continued on down the corridor, her heart slowing a little more with each step. Leaving him was the hardest thing she had ever done. And she was afraid that if she glanced back, saw him once more, that what little resolve she had left would crumble, and send her straight back to him.

She made it all the way to the horse in the courtyard before she looked back, and then she wished she hadn't. In a window, high above her, Glorfindel watched her, and even from the distance between them, she could see the silvered tracks of tears upon his face, and haggard lines where the day before, there had been none. She turned away, and mounted her horse, the shards of her self locked away so that she could never bleed for him the way she was now, ever again.

$#$3

Haldir looked up to see her in his doorway. He sat by the fire, his face eerily handsome in the fire light. He smiled. "Come here," he said huskily, leaning back in his chair, any surprise he may have felt at seeing her there traceless. She walked across the room, forcing her legs to move. She sat at his feet, not looking at him, staring into the flames. The journey to Lorien had been some of the longest days of her life.

"I knew you would come to me," he whispered to her, his hand coming to rest upon her hair, and stroking it so gently, that after all she had endured, no touch could be crueler had he bruised her. "Once again, he has hurt you."

She tried to stop herself from shaking, as his caresses continued. "I understand your pain, Sallahra. Both of us, without the one that we long for." She looked up at him then, for the first time since she had sat at his feet.

"Come to me. We can be lonely together." he said, recognizing the pain in her eyes, that was kindred to his own. And with that, his hands lifted her from the floor onto his lap, where he proceeded to swiftly pull the garments from her half frozen form, and kiss half-voiced denial from her lips.

And as he thrust into her, for the first time, she knew then that she was truly dead inside. And she was perfectly fine with that. Because if her heart never beat again, at least the pain of not having Glorfindel would end.

A/N: I know this one was a short chapter, I'm sorry, but if I didn't give you this, there'd be nothing for you until Wednesday, and I couldn't bare to put you through that.lol. let me know what you think now. And just for the record, I may very well have gotten my inspiration back. I have an idea for a new story, and its a doozie. In that it's been done a thousand times, but hopefully I can put a new spin on it. enjoy the chapter, and sound off your opinion in a review. Thanks very much. I 've tried to answer all the other reviews thus far.


	8. Lie To Me

Glorfindel wallowed in his grief. The wine bottles strewn around him grew in number, as he slowly tried to drink himself into oblivion. Elrond found him passed out amongst the glass, and shaking his head at his friends sorrow, he, with a guards assistance, had him taken away from his room, which had become a wallow of self pity, and into the light of the healing rooms.

&(&(

Life after that night of shadows and hurt took on a routine for Sallahra and Haldir that was neither pleasant nor lively. But it passed the time. Every morning, she would leave Haldir's side, and scrub her skin until it reddened. Once Haldir had left the talan, she would walk amongst the silent boughs, or sit staring into an empty fire place. Haldir would often come home to find her this way. And for awhile, he would make her forget all that had occurred. He had no illusions about their relationship, if it could be called that, he knew she did not love him, and that he was not the one she wanted. But that did not matter to him. He did not love her either. But for the time being, he wanted her, and it took away some of his own loneliness. And longing, for the one who would not have him.

&&6

For Glorfindel, however, he was determined to make himself forget. When he was not drinking, he was riding his horse, often recklessly, as though the faster he went, the further away he could become from the sound of her voice ringing in his ears. He took a new lover every night, unable to bear the loneliness that darkness seemed to bring. It would seem that he intended to carry on this way forever, and perhaps would have, if Elrond had not brought an abrupt end to his wallowing.

&(&89

"I'm afraid I have no other choice in the matter, Glorfindel," Elrond said, looking sternly at his sorry excuse for a seneschal. Hardly having slept off the effects of last nights wine, it was a wonder the elf was even dressed properly. "You must go to Lorien to liaise with Celeborn's advisor about the trade patterns once more. I can send no one else."

Glorfindel sat in a chair, unable to support his own weight any longer. When had he gotten so heavy? He was no larger than usual, but now he struggled to remain upright.

"But I can not go to Lorien, Elrond. I have duties here…"

"That your second in command has been handling quite competently for sometime now, due to your sudden fascination with liquor. You will go to Lorien Glorfindel, and that is my final word on the matter. You have been wallowing around in your own misery for far too long. I tolerated your drinking like a fish, and your bed sport with every maiden within Imladris, but I will not tolerate you neglecting your duties." Elrond then returned to writing on the parchment in front of him, and Glorfindel knew he had been dismissed. Had he been completely sober, he perhaps would have felt ashamed of his behavior. Or maybe, had he not been bereft of most of his senses, he would have noticed Elrond's low chuckle, and twinkle of triumph in his eye as the Seneschal left.

**A/N: Another very short chapter, I grant you, but the next few will be lengthy, so these ones ha to be short. Let me know what your all thinking no. and thankyou all for your lovely reviews!And I know Haldir is a bit of an ass, but he can't be all cuddles. Hes suffering to. In a way, he's comforting her the only way he knows how. From a weird, twisted perspective anyway.lol. thankyou all!**


	9. All Of This Will Make Sense Now That I'm

The ride seemed to grow longer with each step. He wanted nothing more than to turn and run the other way. What a plague it was to him, the fact that he, Glorfindel, the Golden Flower, could slay demons, but could not face an elleth. Quite frankly, in the face of all this, it made him feel increasingly like a bit of Balrog slaying right now….but a look behind him at the escort (who was quickly becoming a guard to keep him on the road) stopped that idea.

(&&89

Despite this, however, they arrived on the borders of Lorien far too soon for Glorfindels liking. And the closer they came to Golden city, the closer his eyes drew to the ground, determined not to appear as though he was looking for a certain someone.

Upon arriving, he asked his escort to show him to where he would be staying. Despite his firmest resolve not to, he scanned the trees, intent upon catching a glimpse of Sallahra. He went wanting, as the bright eyed escort led him to a talan. As he stepped inside, the escort left him with a hurried bow.

"Odd," murmured Glorfindel, as he surveyed what looked suspiciously like a _lived_ in talan. Was this some kind of farce at his expense? The sound of the door opening at the other end of the talan made him start.

He turned at the sudden sound. She stood behind him, unaware of his presence due to her preoccupation with the basket in her hands, but when she looked up at him, her whole body froze.

It was though he was seeing her for the first time. She could not look away. As though making up for the last time they had been together, when she would not look at him, now she could not stop. If leaving him had torn her apart, seeing him set her heart beating again. And when Haldir walked into the room, and saw the two, unable to tear their eyes off each other, he knew then that she would not fill his arms again. And he left silently, to once more go without the one that his shallow love of Sallahra had staved for a short while.

&&

Glorfindel spoke first. "I have heard that you and the Marchwarden are lovers."

Not one to be beaten, she snapped back, before she could stop herself. "And I heard that you are every maid in Imladris's lover. Again."

"Do you love him?"

"Do you love any of them?"

"Did you love me?"

"What do you think, Glorfindel? I left my home so I would never have to look at you again. Of course I loved you! I love you still."

Glorfindel snorted. "And so the Marchwarden is what, YOUR WHORE?" he shouted, as they both grew closer, and redder in the face.

"Did you ever really love me, Glorfindel?" she sneered his name. "I gave you everything I had, and yet you still went to another."

"IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK HAPPENED?" Glorfindel screamed, as a single moment of confusion suddenly became clear to him. "I would not have touched Gwyneth or any other, from the moment you told me that you would be mine, and I told you I was yours. I thought her to be you."

Sallahra stared at him for a moment, finally putting a thousand pieces together. "You….did?" she asked haltingly.

"Yes. And I can't function without you. If we were to no longer be together, I'd fade from this world."

"You….love me still?"

"I never stopped." He said hoarsely. She allowed herself to pull a little closer to him, wishing he would close this gap between them, that seemed as impassable as a chasm to her.

"And what of Haldir?" Glorfindel asked, having to know the truth, before he dared to hope.

"He was my countless others. To forget you. And I died a little more every time it was his arms around me, not yours."

And with that, Glorfindel threw his arms around her, and kissed her soundly, passing whatever had lain between them in a single step. She felt her heart crashing against her ribs almost painfully, as if answering to Glorfindels heart, which was so close just then.

And she realized then, that for the first time, he had truly saved her.

&(&(&(7

Lonely, Joselyn sat at the river, when she heard another behind her. When she looked up, she saw Haldir staring, as if into nothingness. When he realized he was not alone, the sight of her bathed in moonlight chased the care worn lines of his face away, as he forgot to breathe for a moment. Perhaps, there was light in his seemingly unreturned love for Joselyn. She looked at him, and saw what pain he carried, his remorse at the way he had treated her, the way he had lived his half life without her. And a small spark of hope lit within her. He had never allowed himself to show her how he truly felt before. Always, it seemed, it was Haldir the Marchwarden she knew, not simply…Haldir. Perhaps there was a time to truly forgive him after all. And for the first time since they had last spoken, she smiled.

"Now I really must see Celeborn's advisor," he said, tearing himself away from her. She murmured something that sounded suspiciously like a curse, before she pulled him back to her.

"You're not going anywhere," she murmured, her eyes still closed, holding him firmly against her tiny frame. The difference in strength between the two of them was laughable, to the point where Glorfindel could have broken her hold without thinking. But he stayed where he was. She slid her hands down to grasp him to her, and she sighed with contentment as she felt him slip inside of her once more. It was strange to think that the very same act that had broken her seemed to make her whole again. The difference being Glorfindel.

And when they had once more slaked their lust for one another, they lay in stillness, barely moving, neither speaking. But it was enough, until they finally fell asleep, exhausted. Satisfied. At least, until the next time she woke him, wanting more.

&786

He had finally managed to dress, but only with the promise to return to her as soon as was at all possible. He had ran to the council room to meet Lord Celeborns advisor, and intended to be out of there as quickly as possible. But as he soon found out, he was to be out of there sooner than he thought.

"What do you mean, he did not send for me?" Glorfindel asked, wide eyed, mouth open in shock.

"Lord Celeborn had all matters of concern attended to at the meetings of the past week, My Lord," the Seneschal of Lorien replied, looking a little surprised himself. Glorfindel replayed in his mind Elronds words, his tone of voice upon sending him here, the twinkle in his eyes….the…..

The meddlesome old goat! He had tricked him! Tricked him into coming to Lorien, into seeing Sallahra again! He tried as hard as he possibly could to be angry, furious, frustrated, anything, but he found himself bursting into loud peals of laughter that echoed through out the hall. If anything, he owed Elrond a very good bottle of wine. And then he winced. After the past weeks, he realized he no longer had any left.

He returned to the talan he had spent the past night in with Sallahra, who lay curled, sleeping in the warmth he had left when he had vacated the bed. She woke at the sound of him closing the door.

"Either I have slept a long time, or you were swift to the point of rudeness, Glorfindel. What happened?"

Quick, he thought to himself. Think of an excuse. Don't tell her the real reason! "Ahhh….I used my…undeniable powers of persuasion to…bring the meeting to an end quickly," he said, sliding into the bed beside her once more. She raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief.

"The only persuasive powers you have, my love, involve a bed and that rather wicked tongue of yours. Now what happened?"

Unruffled, he went to his next excuse. There was no way he could tell her the truth. It was far to embarrassing, even now. "They told me to come back tomorrow."

"Glorfindel…" she said, sitting up.

"They had already sorted it out for themselves?" he tried once more, and Sallahra folded her arms.

"How about you just use your worst excuse quickly so I can then use _my_ powers of persuasion to get the real answer out of you?"

"What, that a squirrel was found in one of the pantries this morning and upon discovery it knocked over a boiling pot of…something, which subsequently resulted in there no being enough food to feed us so we shall have to leave Lorien straight away and never speak of this again?" he said, looking a little surprised himself. How had he come up with that one?

Sallahra fought back laughter, a sly grin on her face. "Alright. Now the truth, or you may find yourself sleeping on the floor for the next year."

"I don't see why that should faze me. The floor is a perfectly good place to make love to y-"

"Alone".

Glorfindel nearly tripped over himself in his hurry to tell her the truth. "Ëlrond tricked me into coming here to see you by telling me there was a meeting when there really was not and it was all a farce on his part to stop me drinking and neglecting my duties because I couldn't function without you, which I already told you last night." He looked up at her sheepishly, and she laughed. He may have been a few eggs short of a dozen at times, but she loved him. And he, her. She lay back down beside him, reaching down between them to grasp hold of a part of him that was currently begging for her attention.

"By the Valar, Glorfindel, there is some sort of creature in the bed with us!" she said in mock-horror, stroking the length of him, making him shiver, and pin her beneath him.

"Do you think it is the squirrel from your story?" she said, continuing to torment him, as he buried his head in her neck, trying to gain some semblance of control over himself. He wanted to reply. He wanted to look her squarely in the eye and correct her that no, it was not a squirrel, it was a mighty serpent intent upon ravishing her. But for some reason, his mouth wouldn't work. (Thank the Valar)

She smiled at him. He was the silliest ellon she had ever met. She stopped stroking him, bringing her hands up to pull him closer to him. He growled at the loss of her hands upon him, only to drive himself deeply within her. She felt so good to him. He thrust into her, again and again, driving them over the edge of all rational thought, as they both reached their climax quickly, as though to make up for lost time. As they lay their shaking minutes later, breathing heavily, he finally found himself capable of coherent speech again. "I'm going to love you twice a day for the rest of our lives."

"Sometimes three times?" she whispered, too tired to do anything more then curl up next to him.

"As many times as I can find hours in a day." he said, drawing her tenderly against him.

He smiled down at her. His only. And for the first time, ever, in his long life, he was truly at peace. As was she.

**A/N: okay. Last chapter. I promised it would be a long one. Enjoy, and don't forget to tell me what you think. Stay tuned for the new story. Will be up in a few weeks. I just want to take the opportunity to thank all my reviewers. Your feedback is very much appreciated, and I answer all of them. Thanks very much**


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